Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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