I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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