he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
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I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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