Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
