I met the friendliest cop last night
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE