if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
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All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
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That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam