So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
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when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
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My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.