dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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