i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
