I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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