I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
