just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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