youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
