i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
