"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
