I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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