2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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