remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
no. you can't hotbox the world.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
