Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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