I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
