my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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