whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."