i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
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in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
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I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist