i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.