no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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