...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
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at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
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I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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