I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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