mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
