The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
