We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
