Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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