so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
