Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
