they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
