I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
