Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
