he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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