If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
