i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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