and you said cock pushups were impossible
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
