Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
