Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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