Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
