I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
