Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
