shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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