Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
