Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
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So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
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And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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