Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize