haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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