based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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