all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
