Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
