I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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