It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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