Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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