So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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