I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Actions speak louder than pants.
it's great music for shaving your balls
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
