Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
