Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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