Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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