Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Randomize
