I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
