Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I am available for nakedness
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
