Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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