Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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