just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize