i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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