We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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