Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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