Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
