Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
